{"id":9539,"date":"2009-01-28T13:23:03","date_gmt":"2009-01-28T11:23:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.curaj.net\/?p=9539"},"modified":"2009-01-28T13:23:03","modified_gmt":"2009-01-28T11:23:03","slug":"polite%c8%9bea-imbecila","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sergiubrega.com\/curajnet\/?p=9539","title":{"rendered":"Polite\u021bea imbecil\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Locuiesc \u00eentr-un cartier select din sudul Bucure\u0219tiului.<br \/>\nFoarte rar se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 s\u0103 vezi brusc 20 de ma\u0219ini pline cu cet\u0103\u021beni justi\u021biari agit\u00e2nd pe spinarea unui vecin latul unor s\u0103bii ninja sau b\u00e2te de baseball, s\u0103 fii mu\u0219cat de c\u00e2ini sau s\u0103 asi\u0219ti neputincios la aruncarea unei so\u021bii pe geam, noaptea, de la etajul trei\u2026<br \/>\nPlictiseala, \u00een general, e foarte mare.<br \/>\nPrimarul Piedone <!--more-->ce ne mai pune la \u00eencercare r\u0103bdarea\/priceperea de a-i descoperi c\u0103ile misterioase prin care \u00ee\u0219i guverneaz\u0103 oaza intergalactic\u0103, impropriu numit\u0103 Sector 4.<br \/>\nAzi noapte s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat s\u0103 nu ne plictisim deloc, noi, singurii 170 de insomniaci din dou\u0103 blocuri:<br \/>\no t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 mam\u0103 a unui bebelu\u0219 a fost aruncat\u0103 de so\u021bul beat pe geam de la etajul trei.<\/p>\n<p>Dup\u0103 momentele de suspans \u00een care ambii se amenin\u021bau reciproc cu aruncarea bebelu\u0219ului lor pl\u00e2ng\u0103cios, istoricul familiei recitat <em>fast-forward<\/em> pe \u00eenjur\u0103turi, a urmat incredibila mi\u0219care \u00een <em>slow-motion<\/em>: el o ridic\u0103 pe foarte t\u00e2n\u0103ra lui so\u021bie(mult prea t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103, mult prea supl\u0103, dac\u0103 v-ar interesa detalii\u2026), \u0219i \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 o arunce pe geam.<br \/>\n(V\u0103 imagina\u021bi vecinii oripila\u021bi \u021b\u00e2\u0219nind la propriile geamuri, balcoane, pe trotuar, sub fereastra cu pricina, da? <em>Afluind<\/em> spre locul faptei \u00een desf\u0103\u0219urare\u2026)<\/p>\n<p>Locuiesc la etajul 2, prima fereastr\u0103 pe st\u00e2nga, sub ei.<br \/>\nEa s-a agitat \u00een bra\u021bele lui, se prindea de perdea, de canat, dar tot a aruncat-o.<br \/>\nAcum ne mut\u0103m \u00een <em>Cliffhanger<\/em> (great movie!): fata a pornit \u00een plonjon\u2026dar s-a ag\u0103\u021bat de un grilaj al unui viitoare copertine de vreo 50 de cm deasupra geamului de la etajul 2.<br \/>\nFacem o mic\u0103 pauz\u0103, \u00een timpul acestei secunde am murit de vreo 2 ori. Ar putea fi doar le\u0219in, ar putea fi o bucl\u0103 temporar\u0103 \u00een coama unui mai bun povestitor, dar mie mi s-a p\u0103rut c\u0103 mi-a stat inima, noaptea s-a \u00eentunecat dublu-triplu, sonorul a disp\u0103rut, imaginea s-a v\u0103lurit destul de frumos\u2026<br \/>\nRevenim.<\/p>\n<p>R\u0103m\u0103sesem la t\u00e2n\u0103ra care se \u021binea \u00een m\u00e2ini de un mic grilaj, bebelu\u0219ul \u021biuia, mul\u021bimea h\u0103cuia aerul isteric, sosea salvarea ca \u00een filme, \u00ceN \u0218APTE MINUTE, pompierii cu scara rulant\u0103 \u00een 15, imbecilul beat era \u00eentr-o staz\u0103 greu de descris, u\u0219a lui blindat\u0103 nu permitea mul\u021bimii lin\u0219ante s\u0103 rezolve situa\u021bia mai repede \u0219i mai simplu.<br \/>\nNu-s multe 2 etaje jumate, da\u2019 jos e beton, un g\u0103rdule\u021b de fier ornamental (decapitant) \u0219i multe ma\u0219ini parcate aiurea. Ma\u0219ina Pompierilor nu avea cum s\u0103 intre, chiar presupun\u00e2nd c\u0103 ar fi ap\u0103rut Piedone s\u0103 salte cu o m\u00e2n\u0103 vreo 4 ma\u0219ini t\u00e2mpite \u0219i s\u0103 fi smuls castanul din alee cu cealalt\u0103 m\u00e2n\u0103.<br \/>\nCu scara mobil\u0103(c\u0103rat\u0103 \u00een spate) a fost mai simplu.<br \/>\nBun\u0103 seara, Nea&#8217; Motanu&#8217;!, aici intr\u0103m pe muzic\u0103, poveste, faruri reflectorizante, jandarmi mu\u0219chiulo\u0219i alerg\u00e2nd \u00een tricouri cu m\u00e2neci scurte, pompier maiestuos urc\u00e2nd spre cerul mic de care at\u00e2rna o t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 \u00een trening rapidist (Hai Rapidul!).<br \/>\nNu v\u0103 mai deranjez \u0219i cu secunda \u00een care ea a sc\u00e2ncit c\u0103 nu mai poate, \u0219i-a desprins \u00eencet o m\u00e2n\u0103, cine \u0219tie c\u00e2te miliarde de milionimi de microsecunde, nu pot explica deloc cum am ajuns \u00een strad\u0103 (nu-mi amintesc), nu pot descrie vocea teribil\u0103 a unei \u201dtroiene\u201d care urla s\u0103 nu mai st\u0103m ca imbecilii, s\u0103 facem ceva. Chiar eram imbecili, chiar nu aveam ce face.<br \/>\nVecinule\u021bul de la doi ar fi putut s\u0103 o g\u00e2dile la t\u0103lpi dac\u0103 ar fi ajuns la ea.<br \/>\nEu a\u0219 fi putut s\u0103 nu pl\u00e2ng.<br \/>\nAdministratorul ar fi putut s\u0103 nu tremure.<br \/>\nLumea ar fi putut s\u0103 nu urle la pompierul care nu avea cum s\u0103 ajung\u0103 mai bine, mai repede, mai direct, la cea care a reu\u0219it s\u0103 se reprind\u0103 cu ambele m\u00e2ini de grilaj.<\/p>\n<p>Tot ce v\u0103 pot relata, spre totala mea jen\u0103, ar fi convorbirea telefonic\u0103 de urgen\u021b\u0103, la Poli\u021bie.<br \/>\n\u00cen primele secunde ale \u0219tirii de cartier.<br \/>\nMint. Dou\u0103 minute am \u00eencercat s\u0103 \u00eemi amintesc num\u0103rul, formam, ca de obicei, eu tot \u00eencercam la NYPD, 911.<br \/>\nNimeresc cumva 1 1 2.<br \/>\nSun\u0103.<br \/>\n\u00cemi dreg glasul.<br \/>\nRespir.<br \/>\nA\u0219tept un moment, apoi, superstupid:<br \/>\n&#8211; Bun\u0103 seara!<br \/>\nA\u0219tept r\u0103spunsul!<br \/>\n&#8211; Bun\u0103 seara. Spune\u021bi, v\u0103 rog.<br \/>\n&#8211; Doamn\u0103, cineva\u2026, v\u0103 rog frumos s\u0103 trimite\u021bi pompierii\u2026<br \/>\n\u0218tiam c\u0103 nu trebuie s\u0103 \u00eei spun adresa, \u00eei apare pe monitor.<br \/>\n&#8211; V\u0103 rog\u2026<br \/>\n-Da, s-a raportat, femeia care a c\u0103zut de la etajul trei, aruncat\u0103 de so\u021b\u2026<br \/>\n<em>Doamne, eu \u0219tiam c\u0103 at\u00e2rn\u0103 la geam, \u00eentre timp c\u0103zuse??<\/em><br \/>\nTelefonul mi-a explodat \u00een t\u00e2mpl\u0103.<br \/>\nDar am continuat politicoas\u0103:<br \/>\n&#8211; Deci a\u021bi trimis echipajele?<br \/>\n&#8211; Da.<br \/>\n&#8211; V\u0103 mul\u021bumesc mult, bun\u0103 seara.<br \/>\nEa:<br \/>\n&#8211; O sear\u0103 pl\u0103cut\u0103\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Animale urbane, impasibile.<br \/>\nFata a fost salvat\u0103.<br \/>\nMomentul \u00een care a ajuns teaf\u0103r\u0103 \u00een bra\u021bele pompierului va str\u0103luci \u00eentr-un scenariu.<br \/>\nS\u0103 m\u0103 trezi\u021bi \u00een martie.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Locuiesc \u00eentr-un cartier select din sudul Bucure\u0219tiului. Foarte rar se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 s\u0103 vezi brusc 20 de ma\u0219ini pline cu cet\u0103\u021beni justi\u021biari agit\u00e2nd pe spinarea unui vecin latul unor s\u0103bii ninja sau b\u00e2te de baseball, s\u0103 fii mu\u0219cat de c\u00e2ini sau s\u0103 asi\u0219ti neputincios la aruncarea unei so\u021bii pe geam, noaptea, de la etajul trei\u2026 Plictiseala, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[453,70,645,450,452,447,446,451,449,448],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiubrega.com\/curajnet\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9539"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiubrega.com\/curajnet\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiubrega.com\/curajnet\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiubrega.com\/curajnet\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3197"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiubrega.com\/curajnet\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9539"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiubrega.com\/curajnet\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9539\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9601,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiubrega.com\/curajnet\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9539\/revisions\/9601"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiubrega.com\/curajnet\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiubrega.com\/curajnet\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiubrega.com\/curajnet\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}